now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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