she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
