I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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