On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
