Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
