C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
