grandma shit on top of the toilet
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
