We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
