I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
