My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
