So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
