I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
