Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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