Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
