so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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