Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
