after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
