1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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