so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i came on her dog
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
