We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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