4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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