Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
