she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
so much tequila, so little girl.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
