o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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