i was rollin on her like bob the builder
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
