Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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