My Higher Power is John Stamos
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
