So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
