she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
