Im at strip club and am horny
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
