Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
