Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
