bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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