sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
