I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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