My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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