i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
