hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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