He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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