If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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