Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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