weddingsv make me drug and hornr
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
