Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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