omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
