I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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