I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
