is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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