nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My feet surprised me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
