I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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