Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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